October 27, 2011

...


受不了

别问

别问我的伤别问我的痛
别问我的心中是否在流血
别问我是否心已碎
别问酒逢故人醉不醉

别问我的苦别问我的悲
别问我的流浪是否很疲惫
别问我是否还有泪
别问魂萦旧梦对不对
也别问我会不会



我没力气面对这些。我累得很,累得想要失去我的记忆。
我不知道该怎么办,我不知道该怎么做。
我不懂,我不懂,我什么都不懂、什么也不想知道。
Just a gentle whisper told me that you're gone
Leaving only memories where did we go wrong
I couldn't find the words then, so let me say them now
I'm still in love with you
Tell me that you love me, tell me that you care
Tell me that you need me and I'll be there
I'll be there waiting




я тебя люблю.

October 26, 2011

random lyrics

真心话 - 何润东

早晨醒来身上沾了颜料
而画笔还握得很紧很牢
阳光中你仍静静悄悄
在画板上看着我微笑
几乎每天梦到散着步和你聊
有一种幸福和美好
我感觉得到却捕捉不到
有时候让情绪很糟
感动明明塞满胸口却说不明白
我爱得多么澎湃
只愿你能看得出来

喜欢你想爱你想说真心话
我只有深情但请你收下
我只有痴狂却不懂得方法
把我心里想的怀里有的清楚让你看吧
喜欢你想爱你想说真心话
路也许还长但爱已出发
我也许太傻却一点也不假
会永远体贴永远守约你肯让我爱你吗
想看着你闹陪着你笑让我爱你吧

work study work study

how's day? 

mm..i'm looking for another job. i've dropped my resume to Ms. Yenny Marlim yesterday, she suggest me to teach at Speed Mandarin. well, never ever in my mind that i would be a teacher. i'm not good and not patient enough to be a teacher actually, but whatever, just give a try. since my lecture is a perfectionist one, my class NEVER free from assignments and tests. so many things to do, to memorize, to prepare. so thinking of teaching there, maybe i still have time to do all the things. sigh, i postponed my resume to BCA :( i wish could be a teller, and my mom wish me too. but considering my college life, it seems impossibe cause i must be no time to study or do my assignments. (sorry mom).  

reason why i want to quit my current  job is the salary is not enough for me. besides, i've worked here for almost half year, but he haven't increase my salary. i've to pay everything on my own and it just not enough :(
and.... i just don't like it no more.

October 24, 2011

tired

whops, headache. wish i could skip college. the perfectionist teacher just gives us too much pressure :'(

never f r e e from tasks and exams.



















gotta off now. byebyee

생일 축하 해요, 안세리 - Happy Birthday, Anncely

good afternoon!

Gathering with besties is the best moments on earth. kelvin's coming home few days ago and we met up yesterday at sun. fanny's had inauguration so she missed the fun. we gathered for Anncely's birthday also. met up at 2p.m, then having lunch at QQ and then walked around with kelvin, anncely, febe and ailen. jesslyn joined us at 6. we laughed and joke around. we gave anncely pretty-failed-surprised-birthday-cake. whatever, happy birthday dear. te-hee. she consoled me with her kitty kitty unyu unyu words. overall, they give me support and consoled me. thanks everyone! it's more than enough, and i feel great to have all of you. 

well, i miss christine, fransisca, and nova. wish we could meet up in a complete team. :)

xx,
friendship never dies.

October 22, 2011

Nothing Lasts Forever

Nothing lasts forever...



even flowers can wilt...



 

and the rain will stop.

Lost

i keep telling myself to be tough. whatever, there are still many hurdles in front of me, not only this. college life is real sucks. know that i won't feel peace through the rest of this year. i need a strength to stand up. but i fall everytime i try to stand. pathetic.

nothing i could do, nothing. i pray, i pray for everything, for everyone. praying the best for them, for my family, my besties and for me, myself. I couldn't think no more. too complicated that i prefer to lost my consciousness.

praying and swallowing all the pain, i think that's all i could do.

-God Bless Us-

Le rêve

Le Rêve


Je t'aime
beautiful
Pinkish Letter Box

Wing to fly
rose cupcake
simply pretty
summer
Picnic

i like the shoes
(Y)
France, Eiffel, and Macarons <3

l'amour
Eiffel and Love

-Disney-

hopes

May dreams come true

Ballet

if only my mom didn't let me quit ballet...

cute, i want this shoes :)









i must be able to do toe-point now :'(

Numb

i feel numb. 

i don't know what should i do now, i don't know whether i should give up or wait. i don't know if i'm dumb or what. i don't know if my tears is worth it or not. i don't know what to believe anymore.

if only letting go is easy, i will let it go in a blink.


because he's the only one that i put my faith on...and he's the one who broke it.

i know ppl will say i'm stupid.

i just need someone who won't give up on me. i thought he will, but apparently not.

hoping so much could really hurt you so much. now i got this point.

October 21, 2011

dying.

could anyone just shoot me now??

i'm so done. it is sucha thunderstorm.

how could it be? i'm just speechless. could i just throw every shits on my brain? please just shoot me.

entre l'amour et des roses.

I found these pictures on web yesterday and i'm so into them. I love the roses, the soft colors, the meanings. I feel peace looking at these pictures, and really want the real ones.

gentle



pure

soft

roses with thorn.

the rose petals


a bouquet of love

this is what i love the most

Talking about rose... love is like a rose. You must careful when picking a rose because if not, you'll hurt by its thorns. So as love, it is beautiful, but it can also hurts you. It could make you happy, it could make you sad. Love is everything and it could be anything. It could be your heaven, it could be your hell. It could heal you, it could make you sick. It could make you live, yet it could kill you. It could boost up your mood, it could drained your mood. It could gives you strength, it could makes you powerless, etc. 

"So, anything that you get with a great difficulty, patience, and love, must be something very meaningful and worthy to be preserved." - Me

Story Telling

everybody craving for happiness. i'm no exception.

but is happiness exist? i mean the real real happiness. like what we see in fairy tales or pictures.

a prince finally get his lover, they date, got married, the lover becomes a princess, and live happily ever after.

what a fairytale.
but in reality, everything seems to be contradictory. too much ups and downs. what we think is our's, could suddenly become other's, a sweet candy could become bitter. some thing is easily change to another thing. i'm thinking abt this lately.
when a couple still dating, they treat each other like sugar, sweetly and nicely. but after they were married...
everything's changed.

perhaps some ppl never see this situation, but i did. it's a real story that ever make me think that it's better to live alone.

the story is sbt someone i know. since i knew abt it,i feel frightened, afraid, scared, trauma. that's not the first real-story i know. still have some real broken-relationships stories. so i feel falter abt having a relationship. so many questions on my head. what is a real relationship is? hurting each other gradually? big no. what does it meant to be? how to maintain a relationship as sth last forever? how to protect it? how to make the one we loves happy? how to keep understanding each other? could we hand in hand till the end of life? i still keep on figuring out the answers.

"something that you pursued painstakingly, would be something valuable when you have it ; something that i maintain painstakingly, would be something very meaningful to me if i could have it."

October 20, 2011

exhausted

Sigh..
everybody said i'm thinner. i don't realize actually. 
but not only my friends, even my mom said so.
How could it be?
Here are the monsters:
-work and study pressure
-homeworks + exams 
-lack of sleep
-shitty things
 
i'm really exhausted
:'( :'( :'(

October 19, 2011

Quelle Coïncidence



Colour of The Soft





Right Here Waiting

Right Here Waiting
by Richard Marx


Oceans apart day after day and I slowly go insane
I hear your voice on the line but it doesn't stop the pain
If I see you next to never how can we say forever
 
 Wherever you go whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you

I took for granted, all the times that I though would last somehow
I hear the laughter, I taste the tears but I can't get near you now
Oh, can't you see it baby you've got me goin' crazy

Wherever you go whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you

I wonder how we can survive this romance
But in the end if I'm with you I'll take the chance
Oh, can't you see it baby you've got me goin' crazy

Wherever you go whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you

 

October 18, 2011

Fake Smile

Smile though your heart is aching
Smile even though it's breaking
When there are clouds in the sky, you'll get by
If you smile through your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You'll see the sun come shining through for you

Light up your face with gladness
Hide every trace of sadness
Although a tear may be ever so near
That's the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what's the use of crying?
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile 

   Smile-Nat King Cole

no idea, just fake a smile :)

Inaugural Post

never imagine that i made a blog in this situation.

there's nowhere i could speak abt this things.

sad, mad, guilty, disappointed, broken to pieces, that's how i feel these two days. bad really really bad. i feel so badddddd...

i was asking if this is my punishment from God. yes, it's all my fault.

but how could i easily say yes, while me myself still dazed?